Happiness. A Guide to developing Life’s most important skill by Matthieu Ricard.
The author is a French Buddhist monk and he explores different modes of happiness and then gives his ideas on how to achieve on going happiness in life. He defines happiness as a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. This is not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or a mood, but an optimal state of being. Happiness is also a way of interpreting the world, since it may be difficult to change the world, it is always possible to change the way we look at it. To love oneself is to love life. It is essential to understand that we make ourselves happy in making others happy.
We look for happiness outside ourselves when it is basically an inner state of being. We forge bonds of friendship, start families, live in society, work to improve the material conditions of our existence – is that enough? Clearly not when we see the lives of unhappy rich movie stars.
The most common error is to confuse pleasure for happiness. Pleasure is a temporary phenomenon and most often centered on self. Living it up is how one is supposed to exist, a compulsory hyperactivity without any downtime. We are afraid to turn our gaze in upon ourselves. If we do take time to explore our inner world, it’s in the form of daydreams and imagination, dwelling on the past or fantasizing endlessly about the future.
The author urges us to spend time in meditation, to contemplate our lives and develop some inner peace.
“Suffering” is a part of life for most people. Either ill health, poverty, relationship problems, misfortune; all have to be dealt with at some time in life. If it is possible to relieve mental anguish by transforming one’s mind, how can this process be applied to physical suffering. There are certainly a number of ways to experience the same pain with more or less intensity.
The idea that a powerful ego is necessary to succeed in life undoubtedly stems from the confusion between attachment to our own image and the resolve to achieve our deepest aspirations. The reason for this is simple; self-importance is a target open to all sorts of mental projectiles – fear greed, repulsion – that perpetually destabilize it.
When the self-ceases to be the most important thing in the world we find it easier to focus our concern on others.
It is tempting to systematically pass the blame on to the world and other people. When we feel anxious, depressed, cranky, envious, or emotionally exhausted we’re quick to pass the buck to the outside world; tensions with colleagues at work, arguments with our spouse can be a source of upset. When we emerge from that moment of blindness during which we are completely in the grip of a strong emotion and our mind has been freed from its disruptive emotional burden, it is hard to believe that an emotion had dominated us to such an extent.
Never underestimate the power of the mind, which is capable of making vast worlds of hatred, desire, elation and sadness.
Some emotions make us flourish, others sap our well -being, others make us wither. Emotion covers any feeling that moves the mind, be it towards a harmful, a neutral or a positive thought. If an emotion strengthens our inner peace and seeks the good of others it is positive. If it shatters our serenity, deeply disturbs our mind and is intended to harm others then it is negative. Every incident of aggression and jealousy represents a setback in our quest for serenity and happiness.
Since altruistic love acts as a direct antidote to hatred the more, we develop it the more the desire to harm will wither and finally disappear. Anger can be neutralized by patience.
Few of us would regret the years it takes to complete an education or master a crucial skill. So why complain about the perseverance needed to become a well-balanced and truly compassionate human being.
As natural as it is desire degenerates into a mental toxin as soon it becomes craving, an obsession or an unmitigated attachment. Generally, once mental images linked to a desire begin to build up in the mind, one either satisfies the desire or surpresses it. The repeated reinforcement of mental images leads to addiction and dependency, mental and physical. The experience of desire is felt more like servitude than pleasure. We have lost our freedom. The obsessive desire that often accompanies passionate love can degrade affection, tenderness and the joy of appreciating and sharing the life of another.
Altruistic love is the joy of sharing life with those around us, our friends, our lovers and companions, our wife or husband, and of contributing to their happiness. We love them for who they are and not through the distortion of self-centeredness.
Of all the mental poisons hatred is the most toxic. It is one of the chief causes of unhappiness and the driving force of all violence, all genocide, all assaults on human dignity. As Gandhi said ” If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” To react spontaneously with anger and violence when harm has been inflicted is sometimes considered heroic, but in truth those who remain free from hatred display much greater courage.
We are envious of other peoples” happiness and certainly not of their unhappiness. We should try to set aside the mental images that torture us and the obsessiveness that makes us dream of cruel reprisals against the usurper of whom we are jealous.
Inner freedom is above all freedom from the dictatorship of “me “and “mine”, of the ego that clashes with whatever it dislikes and seeks desperately to appropriate whatever it covets.
Our life is frittered away by detail…. Simplify, simplify. Renunciation involves simplifying our acts, our speech, and our thoughts to rid ourselves of the superfluous. Three main conclusions emerge from studies. First, outward conditions such as wealth, education, social status, hobbies,sex,age,ethnicity, and so on account for no more than 10-
15% of the variable satisfaction quotient. Second, we seem to have a genetic predisposition to being happy or unhappy – about 25% of our potential for happiness appears to be determined by genes. Third we can exert considerable influence on our experience of happiness and unhappiness through the way we live and think, how we perceive life’s events and how we react to them.
The sense of happiness is higher in countries that ensure their inhabitant’s basic resources, greater security, autonomy, and freedom, as well as sufficient educational opportunities and access to information.
Happiness rises with social involvement and participation in volunteer organizations, the practice of sports or music, and membership in leisure clubs.
People who are married or cohabitating are significantly happier than singles, widows and widowers or the divorced or separated living alone.
Happiness tends to be greater among those who have paying work. Death rates and incidences of illness, depression, suicide and alcoholism are notably higher among the unemployed. Retirement makes life not less satisfying but rather more so. Happiness is more pronounced among highly energetic people in good condition. It does not seem to be linked to climate.
Leisure activities enhance satisfaction. Vacations have a positive effect on well-being. TV watching leads only to a minimal increase in well-being.
Money does not buy happiness. For those who lack the basic means of subsistence and for whom money becomes a question of survival, obtaining more wealth brings a legitimate sense of satisfaction. However, it appears clearly that beyond a relatively low threshold of wealth, the level of satisfaction remains unchanged even as income continues to rise. One of the main sources of peoples’ discontent comes from comparing themselves with others in the family, at their work place and among their acquaintances.
As a general statement people who have a happy disposition live longer.
There is an undeniable correlation between altruism and happiness, determining that those who believe themselves to be happiest are also the most altruistic.
In a study optimists live 19% longer on average than pessimists. An optimist is somebody who considers his problems to be temporary, controllable and linked to a specific situation. The sense of insecurity that afflicts so many people today is closely tied to pessimism.
We should put our time to good use, not just waste it. Boredom is the fate of those who rely entirely on distraction.
The “state of flow “is where one becomes completely absorbed in the task being carried out whether it is making a painting, playing football or concentrating on a teaching; to the exclusion of all other thoughts. Doing this on a regular basis contributes to one’s feeling of wellbeing. This is not dissimilar to meditation.
Everybody is interested in happiness. But who is interested in enlightenment? And yet ultimate well being comes from fully eliminating delusion. Enlightenment is the state of ultimate freedom that comes with a perfect knowledge of the nature of the mind and of the world of phenomena.

































This article is being written at the time of the Corona virus lockdown; when we emerge on the other side we will arrive at a very different scenario for both countries.








It’s difficult to find anywhere without tourism. You expect it t Machu Picchu but not in Vietnam or Cuba. Cheap airfares have allowed middle class people to travel and they do. The Chinese travel to Thailand and Vietnam and they are not the world’s most popular tourists.



I had a quick stopover in Lima. The coast as seen from the plane is arid and I stayed in Miraflores, an upmarket area full of tourists, mainly American. The shops in the malls are the same as everywhere else, there’s blandness about the world now with the brands and fast foods, one could be in Gateway or Ho Chi Minh City. Lima is a city of 11 million people, the weather is comfortable but misty in the mornings; they say it never rains in Lima. Perched on a cliff overlooking the ocean I watched the surfers catching waves far below me.



We had the usual one and a half hours wait for the bus but the journey itself was pretty seamless . Crossing the border to Panama was quite entertaining , first pay exit tax , get passport stamped , walk across the border to Panama , the usual rigmarole with photo, finger prints, then form fill for customs, bag inspection and back on the bus . we changed to bus at Boquete and arrived in the evening. The first of a number of signs that it is different to Costa Rica, cooler, different vegetation, less jungle and there are a lot of Indian looking people. . Two kind elderly Americans took us in their car to the estate where they live in an upmarket gated estate with a golf course ,restaurant and library , all surrounded by nature. We went to the local Farmers Market , it was more like a retired Americans meeting place.



Patrick and Carol took a bus ride down to San Jose airport to collect Carol’s lost bag whilst I took a minibus taxi down the steep hairpin road to Quepos where the other two joined me. The following day we had a walk around the pleasant town which has a modern marina with some expensive private yachts and a swim in the apartment’s pool and watched the sun go down over the ocean. The house has big iguanas , spider monkeys , toucans and really nice birds. Its much hotter on the Pacific coast and we were grateful for the pool. We took the bus to Manual Antonio Reserve , the reserve itself was a disappointment with large crowds but the white, sandy beaches with warm blue water were magnificent.

Our visit to Costa Rica didn’t get off to a good start, Carol’s bag didn’t arrive at San Jose airport. We subsequently found out that it had gone to Caracas Venezuela. We caught an Uber to our Air BnB at $20 , the taxis quoted $90. The city was nothing to write home about although it was nice to have WiFi and shops to buy things. We had our first occasion when we felt threatened , we walked to the bus station to book our ticket and suddenly we found ourselves in a street where two guys were comatose on the pavement.. We were vulnerable and these guys fixed us with a stare like a predator eyeing up prey. On the way back we came across a crippled man being severely beaten with shrieking girls around.








So our journey kicked off badly again, we found that Carol needed a visa so we took a decision that I would travel on and Patrick and Carol would go to Cancun to get one from the Cuban embassy and catch a later flight. After arriving at the homestay, sometime later I realised that I had given them the wrong address. I had no way of contacting them and their flight had arrived, so together with Flavia , the homestay manager we waited with baited breath at the wrong address. All was well, they had arrived at the correct address. The Roger effect had kicked in again.