Apart from visits to Paris and a trip with the lads in my misspent youth France is a bit of an unknown country to me. This was a celebration of my niece’s husband, Kevin’s, 70th birthday and included all his family, 9 adults, and 2 children. Our first adventure was taking the car-carrying train under the English Channel, a much quicker and fairly painless way compared to the ferry. The system is quite slick, there’s a holding area with toilets, shops, etc, before proceeding through passport control and then driving on to the train. And then, hey presto, 30 minutes later one is in France. The roads in France are good and much less crowded than UK; however one should be aware of tolls, one of which cost us €40. After a long 5-hour drive, we arrived at our Airbnb near a small village, St Calais, in the area of Le Mans and the entrance to the Loire Valley. This was beautifully set in a farming area with sunflower fields, forests; the fields are much larger than UK, in fact everything is larger. Tourists are few and far between in the area which is refreshing after the hectic scene in many European cities and resorts.
Our accommodation was a typical converted farmhouse with a pool, lots of space, and was perfect for the children and nine adults, except the bedrooms and bathrooms, which left something to be desired. It was hot, so we weren’t too energetic. Lazing by the pool was perfect. We visited Chateau de Montmirail and then drove on to La Ferte Bernard , a typical small French town. One assumption that I don’t agree with is that French people are unfriendly towards the English. We didn’t find that, and were only greeted with smiles, particularly when trying to speak schoolboy French. The architecture is stylish, the atmosphere sleepy. The bread is divine, the Boulangerie’s stock beautiful pastries and local wine is plentiful. We had braais, homemade pizzas, ate crepes at the creperie, and generally lived well. For me, living alone, it was a welcome to share life with such a big crowd and the dynamics of a large family. A week is probably not long enough for such a long drive; two would have been better. I’m already thinking about a longer trip next year to areas of France that I’ve not visited before.
I have visited 49 countries, if you count the Vatican, and I thought it would be good to point out some of the best and worst. The best is Japan, which has orderliness, respect, a unique culture, safety, food, and politeness. Governments badly serve Cuba and Myanmar. The people there deserve better. Many African countries, including South Africa, are not far behind. The friendliest people are from the Philippines. The easiest country to travel around is Thailand, everything seems to fall into place. The best railway system is in Japan, with its bullet trains and extensive suburban network, but China has the most amazing huge stations packed with thousands of travelers. The scariest flight was from Kathmandu to Lukla in Nepal. The best wildlife experience was getting up close to the mountain gorillas in Rwanda, followed by the Serengeti, Phinda, and Botswana. Costa Rica ranks as a great wildlife destination. The most dangerous moment was when we took the wrong road on foot in San Jose, Costa Rica on the way to the bus station and passed through junkies and mean looking hombres and then saw a cripple being beaten up by a thug. We were scammed with counterfeit money from the Beijing airport ATM or a threatening driver who threw us out of his taxi. This was not a very nice welcome to China. The best mountain trek was to Mount Everest base camp, followed by Machu Picchu. The toughest was an 8-day trek in the Namib-Naukluft Park. The worst air pollution was in Kathmandu and New Delhi. India had the worst river pollution. The most unique and wonderful city was Venice. Memorable Eastern temples were in Ayutthaya, Thailand, Angkor Wat in Cambodia, and riding a bike from temple to temple in Bagan, Myanmar. This doesn’t leave out the Taj Mahal, which certainly lives up to its” reputation. I took wonderful bike rides through the tea plantations in Sri Lanka, rice fields in Laos and Cambodia, and villages and towns in Rajasthan, India. The best beaches were in Boca Island, Panama, followed by Thailand and the Philippines. Namibia’s desert scenery is wonderful, and I also enjoyed a camel ride at sunset in the Sahara, Morocco. The sexiest girls are in Cuba. The best taxi ride was also in Cuba in a 1950s blue American vintage classic along the deserted freeway to Havana. The best airport is Singapore and the best airline is Singapore Airlines. The most expensive country was Japan, and the cheapest was Vietnam. The hottest countries were in the Far East; I tended to avoid the cold countries. The best classical architecture is in the old cities of Spain and Italy, and Dubai deserves a mention for its futuristic skyline and wide freeways. The worst table manners and boorish behavior are from the Chinese. If I could choose a country to be born in, it would be Switzerland because of its strong economy, scenery, sports possibilities, democracy, and strong social services. To conclude, South Africa has it all: deserts, mountains, beaches, vineyards, and Cape Town, so I’m very happy to live here. I’m looking forward to visiting my 50th country.
On 29th January 2025, I had my 80th birthday in Venice. I traveled there via Rome and Florence and although they are both marvelous cities Venice is just the most splendid city I have ever visited. Being there in winter meant the crowds of tourists were down to a minimum and we struck it lucky with bright, cool weather; just perfect to wander the alleyways. Transport is by hop-on, hop-off water bus, just buy a ticket for the day, and you go sailing along the Grand Canal, looking at the beautiful buildings. There are no queues at the museums so we went through the Doge’s Palace and across the Bridge of Sighs. I always thought this was so-called for romantic reasons but it was the sounds prisoners made as they entered the dungeons, a place many of them never came out of. We had a lovely dinner with family and friends, a typical Italian restaurant with lots of pasta and pizza. So back to reality and what it means to be 80.” In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” Benjamin Franklin This birthday is definitely different in the knowledge that I probably won’t make 90. I’m just renewing my passport and I think this will be my last one. Life expectancy for males in the UK is 79 and worldwide 72 so I’m already overdue. How do I feel? Well, physically quite good bearing in mind that I have lost strength, flexibility, and stamina and I have a heart condition. But I can still exercise every day either at the gym or walking around the estate and I think this is a secret to living longer. Cognitively I think I have deteriorated somewhat, I struggle sometimes to find the right word, and my concentration has reduced, but I still read books despite the distraction of social media and TV. Life is quieter now but with little or no stress. I don’t have such an urge to travel as much, there’s nothing on my bucket list that I’m desperate to see but if family or friends are doing something then I’m keen to join. I have fewer friends now as we all get older and die off and intimations of mortality continue to rear their ugly heads. I was asked at the weekend if I would do anything differently if I were to live my life over again. The answer is yes. I would marry in my 30s and know more about relationships, have one child instead of three, buy a home within my budget and not be beholden to the banks, avoid corporate life, and retire earlier. Retirement has been the most enjoyable chapter of my life. I take satisfaction that my children and grandchildren have grown up or are growing up to be responsible adults and that I must have done something right.
My friend Pete celebrated his 80th birthday which is something I didn’t want to miss. Unfortunately he wasn’t feeling too well and went into hospital the day after his birthday for a heart procedure. So celebrations were somewhat muted but enjoyable non the less. We then went up to the Lake District where it poured nonstop for the two days we were there. So on this trip I visited Cheshire, Weybridge Surrey and South Wales. I was staying in some of the more upper-market areas of UK so my impressions must be seen under those circumstances. Britain is an overcrowded island , in my lifetime the population has just about doubled from 38 million to 70 million. You never seem to get away from people whether it is walking in the Lake District and the New Forest and particularly on the roads where it’s going from one queue to the next. The road network is excellent but Britain is a very car-orientated society ; for example my son in law has a collection of 10 cars and Paul’s family of four each have a car. There are at least 40 million vehicles and the remarkable point is that most of them are high end models and fairly new .More people would move to public transport but it’s expensive . In fact Britain seems to me to be an affluent country , money seems to be no object .It’s cheaper to holiday in Turkey with guaranteed weather than going to Cornwall. I witnessed a guy give a 10 pound tip to the barmaid for pulling a couple of pints.UK is more or less a cash free country , people pay everything either with card tap or by phone app including the tube. Despite this the Poms seem to be a dispirited bunch. They are disenchanted with their politicians, immigration, Brexit ,NHI , high cost of living and a hangover from Covid. Housing is very expensive ; 1 million pounds is nothing and rents have gone up considerably. This is tough for young people wanting to get on the housing ladder. Keeping fit has moved up a notch probably since the London Olympics. For example my son and wife do triathlons and swim in a nearby lake. It’s very well organized with starting times, marshals and life savers and very well attended. The only problem is that summer is 4 months at most and all these activities close in winter and you’ve got to be very motivated to continue your training in the winter. Despite this the British diet is not very healthy, sausages, egg , bacon and chips with everything rule the roost.
At the end of June 2022 there were an estimated 10 million people in England and Wales who were not born in the UK, approx. 15% of the population. Whether this is a problem or not is debatable but it’s clear that many businesses and institutions such as the NHI struggle with a labor shortage and would not exist without them. British people remain good natured , friendly and engaging and as ever the countryside is beautiful . London has a lot to offer, wonderful architecture, free galleries and museums , theaters, a splendid public transport system and is very walkable or cycleable. Yes it’s got problems but so has every other country so feel free to visit but it’s recommended to do that in the summer months.
The last week of my trip was spent in Portugal with Patrick and Carol. I asked them if they would meet me at Lisbon airport to assist me with driving on the wrong side of the road and finding our way to Vagos where they live. After a few minutes of driving, it became easier as the brain accustoms itself to turning left, right and finding the way around the numerous roundabouts. Vagos is a small town in between Lisbon and Porto and quite close to the sea. The beaches are splendid and often with good waves and in October very quiet. The pick of the area in my opinion is Figueira da Foz with different residential areas close to the sea at reasonable house prices. All these towns along the coast have board walks along the dunes with cafes to pick up a coffee. This of course was out of season so it was quiet but gets much more crowded in season. We also took a walk by a marsh near Aveiro , a well known town with Venice type gondolas . By now the weather had turned very rainy and some of our excursions had to be cut short. We also visited and stayed the night in Nazare which is well known amongst surfers as being the biggest wave in the world when it works in winter. We drove to the top of the cliff then hiked down to the lookout point. The waves were huge but not surf able as it was a very strong on shore wind. It would be wonderful to watch guys surfing it when it is working. My son Paul and his wife were doing a half iron man in Cascais, which is just outside Lisbon, so we hooked up with them the day before the race and then supported them during the race. Cascais is a pleasant up market town and like so many Portuguese towns has an old area together with a more modern commercial area as well as a harbor and fort. Certainly, a nice place to live but rather expensive, I guess. They completed the race in just over 7hours which was an admirable feat. They were lucky because the weather on that day was just about perfect with no wind or rain. From there I had to drop Patrick and Carol off at Lisbon railway station and continue on to the airport to catch my plane home . Waze did another number on me for the third time, taking me to a place in the middle of Lisbon and announcing “You have reached your destination” By now I was panicking as time was ticking on and I was thinking, “What am I going to do if I miss my flight? “Well, I programmed in Google maps and made it 20 minutes later to the airport. And so ended my 7 week journey. I just had to endure more long haul flying , something I find harder and harder to put up with and recover from as I get older. People ask me whether there are differences between Spain and Portugal. Of course, Spain is much bigger and contains different landscapes; Portugal is greener and seems to be more densely populated. One goes from village to village whereas in Spain one can travel long distances through unpopulated semi desert or country with olive trees as far as the eye can see. Spain has high mountain areas but both countries have miles of beautiful beaches but the Atlantic Ocean is far colder to swim in than the Mediterranean. The languages are different, food is good in both countries and very fish orientated in Portugal, shop and restaurant opening hours are very peculiar to us from South Africa. People get up later and go to bed much later than I would expect, indeed sometimes don’t go to bed at all. Both countries have long histories and wonderful architecture but the cathedrals and monuments are grander in Spain. Many cities have old centers with narrow streets and small apartments and squares. The infrastructure and public transport are both good but Spain has high speed trains. People are friendly in both countries and tolerant of tourists. People use the city centers for entertainment and shopping in both countries. The cost of living varies depending upon whether you are in big cities or not. Both countries are safe. Southern Spain is hot but it is a sunny Mediterranean climate in both countries. It’s hard to judge differences in cost of living and this varies from area to area. Both countries have a lot to offer tourists and potential settlers and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend either.
The trip started in San Ildefonso la Granja in order to investigate the purchase of an apartment in the area. After a 24hour exhausting journey I arrived in my Airbnb and made myself at home. I soon realized that this small village is quite isolated but very beautiful. My next two days consisted of viewing apartments in Segovia and then the following day travelling by train to Guadarrama and Villalba. The latter is a busy town quite close to Madrid and was really out of the question but I saw three apartments that I liked, so now we have to make a decision how to proceed, and proceed we will. One of the estate agents was intent on describing the facilities of the area which included the local cemetery. Travelling on Renfe trains outside the high-speed line is a bit depressing, run down stations, ticket machines that don’t work, very few passengers and late trains. Thank heavens I was befriended by a Rumanian lady called Aurore otherwise I would have missed my connection and still be whizzing around the mountain slopes of Madrid.
The Royal Palace in San Ildefonso is truly beautiful, based on Versailles, with extensive gardens spread across the mountain side. It was built in the 18th century but is now disused and open as a museum. It really is unique to go around this palace and explore the gardens.
My daughter in law Natalia came across with Oliver, my grandson, to see me. The link for Oliver with our family seems to be severing, but I’m determined to keep contact.
I have found this trip rather stressful, not knowing the language, customs and being rather isolated.
Spanish business hours are quite different, 09.30 to 14.00, siesta time until 16.30 and then work until late in the evening. They take a small breakfast, lunch at 14.00 and then dinner between 21.00 and 22.00. Everywhere there are plenty of places to eat, from formal to outdoors. At night the cities are buzzing, what a contrast to South Africa.
My next change was to go by train to Cordoba. This meant a taxi to Segovia station, 30-minute train to Madrid Camp, a taxi ride to Madrid Atocha, 2-hour high speed train to Cordoba, followed by a taxi whizz round the side streets to my apartment. The high-speed trains are great but checking in is ridiculous; baggage X ray and then twice checking in like on a plane person by person leaving a mad dash at the end before the train leaves.
The main feature of Cordoba is the Mezquita, the Great Mosque which is enormous and inside has different styles of architecture including red and white striped Caliphal arches. But it doesn’t just have this wonder, there are kms of narrow streets, hidden quiet courtyards. I’ve been now to a number of ancient Spanish cities and they are delightful with wonderous cathedrals and old city centers.
On to Seville, a much larger city with a small apartment next to the road and an all-night street party. How the police allow this and the inhabitants put up with it beats me.
Feeling tired I took the wrong route and ended up in a seedy part of the city and walked past four run down fat prostitutes sitting on chairs in the street.
The main sights are full with overseas and local tourists and you have to book ahead. I decided to give the huge cathedral a miss, perhaps for later. and went around the wonderful Real Alcazar with its huge beautiful gardens.
The next night was the same, total noise from midnight to 07.30. Again, no sleep. So, I decided to check out and claim from Booking .com. Seville was a disappointment for me.
I moved on to Cadiz and a beautiful apartment with all mod cons which has been tastefully renovated in the old city. This is very reminiscent of Sesimbra in Portugal where you live cheek by jowl with your neighbors. During the day one can hear neighbors talking and, on the phone, but thankfully it’s all quiet at night. So, I spent the time wandering the narrow streets, walking to the extensive beaches and gardens and generally recovering from my time in Seville. Cadiz is the oldest city in Spain; there are a lot of tourists as there were two cruise ships in port.
The apartment has an innovative entry scheme, after signing in on line which took me ages, I was given a link from the tourist office with an on-line key to the apartment. It worked perfectly.
Cadiz has beautiful beaches to boot with good surf and a huge cathedral. The sea front reminds me of the Malecon in Havana and the churches in Philippines are clearly modelled on their counterparts in Spain. The Spanish way of life clearly includes lots of coffees, drinks, lunches, tapas and late dinners, often outdoors in the squares.
A long train ride via Seville to Granada where I sat next to a couple of Americans who talked nonstop about politics and conspiracies. My flat is on a street with the cathedral at one end and a church at the other, another converted well-appointed apartment. I spent a lot of time walking up and down hills and down narrow streets, there’s one street with a number of Arabic, Palestinian, Israeli restaurants and of course a lot of Morish influence from when the city was ruled. I took a 3-hour conducted tour around the Alhambra, a huge palace which dominates the city from a hill and then the General Life gardens which is a riot of colors. Altogether this was maybe too much to take in one go but at 45 Euros a throw I can’t repeat it.
I spent another day wandering Granada before being picked up by Sharon, my niece and her husband and Kevin and taken to a hired house in Melagis, which is about 30 minutes’ drive from Granada. This is a four bedroomed house on three levels with a garden, pool, braai etc. in a small town of narrow streets and alleyways, certainly not designed for the motor car. There is a pulley arrangement with a basket to ship goods from the ground floor to the third floor. This once again has night time revelers talking outside until all hours, luckily overcome by use of ear plugs. Friends of Sharon’s, Lorraine and Paul, join us here so it’s pleasant for me to have good company for a change.
We walked to the next town and had a coffee there before taking a drive through hair pin after hair pin high up in the Sierra Nevada to a white village called Capileira , a center for walking and hiking. I’ve never seen a place like this, a moonscape with a town perched on the edge with flat roofed small houses with convoluted chimney pots and narrow streets to wander in.
The next day we went to Montefrio, again on a narrow winding road through acres of olive fields, dry grassless fields with the trees in long line. The village was rather disappointing except for a church on the hill. All this time we have had sunny dry weather, chilly in the morning rising to mid-30’s by the afternoon.
We drove to Nerja , a seaside town with lots of tourists but very pretty with small beaches and blue calm Mediterranean Sea. From the view point we could see villages on the top and almost descending to the sea down steep cliffs. Wherever we drove we passed olive groves planted on dry soils.
We did another hot walk down and up a steep climb and finished off with a coffee and a beer at the local restaurant. And before long our week in Melagis was over. Not all travelling is a pleasure, after dropping me off in Malaga on their
Not all travelling is a pleasure, after dropping me off in Malaga on their way to the airport I had to hang around until my flat was ready. Then followed a tortuous checking in on the phone and only then a code to enter the building. I was stood on the road for 20 minutes before finally finding the right entry code. All very impersonal and frustrating but everything is done on the phone here.
I walked to the top of the hill to the vast Alcazaba , built between the 8th and 11th centuries with amazing views over the city. The beaches are also a short walk away but how people sit there burning themselves to obtain skin cancer beats me. But the majority of visitors are from the northern countries, UK, Germany, Scandinavia and crave the sunshine.
I visited the Picasso Museum, he was a native of the city, and was bewildered by much of his paintings.
Spain is a really super country for visitors. It has a relaxed way of life, a fascinating history, wonderful architecture, a good transport infrastructure, dry but hot climate, mountains, warm beautiful sea, good food and lots of cafes to sit out in, cheaper property prices and freedom to walk the city streets and squares. There are many small privately owned shops and stores, something which has basically disappeared in South Africa with its malls and stores. I like the way people come into the city centre at the weekends to shop, eat and for entertainment. Outside Granada cathedral people were dancing to old time Glen Millar music, and as you always see when people dance, they all had big smiles on their faces. The Spanish know how to enjoy themselves.
After flying from Malaga to Casablanca over the straits of Gibraltar with Africa on one side and Europe on the other I joined a tour run by G Adventures with 10 guests of varying ages and nationalities. It’s actually pleasant to have everything done for one, all you have to do is choose which clothes to wear. We drove firstly to Volubis through dry hills cultivated once more by Olive trees. We staggered around the Roman ruins in fierce heat and then on to Fez. We had a tedious dinner with entertainment by ageing musicians together with equally ageing belly dancers and a magician with a fez like Tommy Cooper. We walked around the Madina which is a rabbit warren of alley ways, passages, all crammed together containing artisan workplaces such as silverware, brass and copper ware, a full leather tannery, clothing manufacturers, ceramics, metalware. There are a number of mosques, education centers; in fact, the Medina operates as a city in itself. The impression was of a densely packed, age old, traditional huge market but nowadays catering very much for tourists. Morrocco is like an alien landscape with an Eastern feel about it without the danger. We drove to the Sahara Desert for a camel ride. I thought it would be a joke but it was a wonderful experience. The camel kneels for you to get on and then at the signal stands up where you have to hang on like grim death otherwise you pitch forward over its head. We stopped and watched the sunset before coming back through the sand in awesome silence just listening to the pad, pad of the camel. The next day I wasn’t feeling well and we did a tedious drive to Todra Gorge. We did a walk through a village with vegetables and a stream to the gorge, a narrow valley through a towering cliff with the last of the sunshine showing on the top. Much of the driving was through barren, rocky landscapes and we arrived at Ait Ben Haddou village with a traditional kasbah and a walk to the top of the hill with splendid views all around. There are no women, except for tourists, in the cafes. We cooked tagine chicken in a hotel restaurant, it’s clear that the men do the waitering and women work in the kitchens. They wear conservative dress and hijab over their hair and shawls. I noticed a few women in the cities wearing Western dress but not in the villages. A man can have more than one wife, under certain conditions and divorce laws are being reviewed to enable women more rights. We drove over the High Atlas Mountains to Marrakesh and had a guided tour through the huge medina. Inside was the palace owned in past years by the Prime Minister and used by him as his harem. The architecture is stunning. Many of the buildings have the same character, arches, decorations and carvings as seen in Southern Spain. The medina is on a huge scale and for sure one would be lost very quickly wandering around. I found it exhausting in the heat. Our tour was over; I stayed an extra day but didn’t venture far from the hotel as I found the heat debilitating and didn’t fancy traipsing around the medina on my own. Of course, Morocco has a long history which I’ve only briefly looked at and it’s very much a Moslem country with all that entails. It has progressed since independence; it has a high-speed rail line from Tangier to Casablanca, good roads and infrastructure. The political system is headed by royalty and clearly there is a big disparity between rich and poor. The architecture in the villages, often perched high in the mountains, and cities with age old medinas is wonderful.
Now I’ve reached the ripe old age of 78 I think I’m entitled to give my thoughts on some subjects and my experience and views. Religion I was baptized and confirmed in the Church of England and my family were not active but also sent me to a C of E primary school. I never thought too much about religion, just took it for granted and that it was a part of life. It was only when my wife became a born-again believer did it start to play a major role. I visited many churches with her and even went to Bible class. It never really touched me and the more outrageous beliefs and practices of my wife were a major reason for our divorce. Since then, I have become a confirmed atheist. To quote George Carlin” Mankind has convinced itself that there is a man in the sky who watches everything you do. If you don’t follow the ten rules that he has laid down you will go to a place where you will suffer untold horrors with fire and burning for eternity. But he loves you. And he needs money because he is not able to handle it “ When you read about the origins of the Church of England you will really wonder why anyone would follow their teachings. Not to mention that mankind has been slaughtering each other since time immemorable because the foe was following the wrong God. Born again Christians believe the rapture is approaching any time now and only they will ascend to heaven. Not the Catholics, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists and everyone else will all be consigned to hell. Religion has been invented to assure mankind that if he follows the Christian path he will have everlasting life after death. I’ve seen enough dead animals to know that once you are dead you are dead. There is no soul and we are not special. If you have ever been unconscious, you will know that there is just blackness. Relationships We really just fall into our situations, I studied and then married at 24 ,had children , took on a mortgage , got a car and a bigger house and spent my time just paying the bills. I never questioned this ethic, it’s just what everyone did. Today’s youth are a little wiser, they often have live in relationships, maybe more than one, dating seems to be much easier and freer and they form permanent relationships and marriage much later in life in their late 30’s and 40’s. They are much more experienced. Having said all that the rate of divorce doesn’t seem to have reduced ; so taking on a permanent relationship is still a risky step. I become obsessed with a woman initially so it’s better to wait awhile and let the obsession pass and then see if the chemistry is still there. Living with a woman enables you to really get to know that person and whether you are really attached. And people change, the person you married is not necessarily the same person after 20 years.
Career Today if you want to do anything worth while then you must have a degree. It seems pointless to me to take a big education loan to attend University where at best you only spend 50 % of your time when you could study on line for a fraction of the cost. And what job and career do you pursue? My recommendation would be to become a digital nomad. There are numerous careers that one can pursue, all you need is a suitable qualification, a desk, a PC and Wi-Fi. You can operate either from home or travel the world. The impact of AI is still to be seen, certainly there is a terrific opportunity in the health and hospital environment but there’s lots of questions about employment and ethics.
Lifestyle If you want to live to a good age don’t smoke, drink alcohol or do drugs and exercise doing whatever you like best. A mixture of flexibility, cardio and strength work best: for 40 years I’ve run, cycled, hiked and gone to gym; it’s a lifestyle that is benefiting me now and provided me with plenty of enjoyment, achievements and good friends. Eat a good balanced diet, don’t eat junk food and monitor your vital signs. We fall into the trap like hamsters on a wheel working to pay the bills, keeping up with the Jones’s, buying a flashy car, a bigger house; for what? Who cares? There is certainly an advantage to owning one’s own property on retirement but is the pursuit of buying a house today worth it with high prices and high interest rates on mortgage?. Set your sights lower, move to an area where house prices are reasonable, invest in a buy to let apartment which pays your mortgage and allows you to move in when you choose to with your mortgage paid off. World Order It’s well known that older people become more conservative and cynical as they age. The world is a mess and I fear for my grandchildren but I’m sure they will make their way. Earth is overpopulated and needs to reduce to about 3 billion. There are a number of countries where the population is reducing, e g Japan, Italy and China’s population has peaked and has started to reduce. These countries are worried about how they will fund pensions for the oldies. They should just put more of their budgets on care for the elderly instead of ballistic missiles at $1 million a throw and nuclear submarines at $30 billion a time. Global warming is a fact, how it’s caused is debatable whether from man kind’s excesses or natural means. The destruction of wildlife and forests must stop The political scene is composed of a number of systems. There are a number of ruthless dictators, despots, and ruling parties e g Putin, Lukashenko, Erdogan, Xi Jinping, Cuba, Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Maduro of Venezuela, Yemen. I could go on. Then there’s the corrupt incompetent Governments which includes most of Africa and South America especially my own South Africa. Communism as in Cuba just doesn’t work despite South African praises. Democracy is flawed, how can a country such as USA with its wealth and hugely well-educated and innovative population throw up the geriatric Biden and the megalomaniac Trump as candidates for President. Everything revolves around the next election and garnering votes by populism and not whether policies are good for the country . How UK can put up with and afford privileged Royalty that put on out dated and ludicrous costly ceremonies is beyond me. Nobody has come up with anything better than capitalism but it’s deeply flawed and produces huge disparities in wealth. In the USA the richest 1% own 34% of the wealth and the richest 10% own 74% of the wealth. This is not to mention global debt which is 3X World’s GDP. Scandinavia, Switzerland, Holland and certain other European countries together with Australia and New Zealand would appear to have systems that take excellent care of their residents. However, refugees from less fortunate countries and with totally different religious beliefs and cultures are threatening the peace and well running of many of these countries.
Conclusion I fear somewhat for my grandchildren’s future but every generation has faced difficulties and overcome them. My parents survived two world wars and the Great Depression; mankind overcomes its’ difficulties. Life’s next stage for me is death, hard to contemplate but I don’t fear it except I hope that it’s not long, drawn out and painful. In the meantime, there’s lots of living still to do.
Rwanda is a small landlocked country with a horrifying recent past, a genocide in 1994 which killed 800000 people by Hutus against Tutsis. The recovery that the country has made is even more astonishing bearing this in mind. The four-day conducted tour that I made had the main aim of viewing the mountain gorillas which are in the area of the Virunga Mountains but also enabled excursions around Kigali, the capital, and whereabouts.
The tour was spoilt somewhat by horrifying flights which took 10 hours with a 6 hour wait at night in a cold deserted Johannesburg airport to catch the 3.30 am flight to Kigali. This is something I won’t repeat.
The first excursion was to the genocide museum, a well laid out building which has 250000 people buried there. The museum didn’t pull any punches, two schoolgirls were overcome with emotion and it was difficult to shake off the mood afterwards. A visit to a large dark, densely packed, crowded market came next where we were greeted with surprise and friendliness. Everything was being sold there and there were plenty of men and women using Singer type Chinese sewing machines to make clothing.
Paul Kagame is something of a benevolent dictator President. There is 0% unemployment,2-3% inflation, the country is spotless, one Saturday a month the residents have to go out and clean their neighborhoods. There is no corruption, everything is done on line, traffic rules are rigorously enforced. There is very little fast food; the people are tall and slim, no obese people to be seen. The complete opposite to South Africa. But I found the country to be somewhat of a police state, heavily armed police everywhere. Our vehicle was searched and we had to take all our cases out for inspection. The police were officious. But perhaps this is the price one pays for a well-run country in Africa.
The following day we had a coffee tasting before embarking on the 3-hour drive to Volcano National Park. The route is very hilly and all the area is farmed with plantations right up to the top of the hills. Men struggle up hills lugging all sorts on bicycles, pushing 200 kilos of potatoes, sugar cane; you name it they carry it. At the top they proceed to career down the hills at breakneck speed using special tyre tread shoes as brakes. Most of the women outside Kigali wear traditional dress. We stopped at the Ellen DeGeneres , Diane Fossey centre, a newly built education centre for the study of the gorillas and I certainly learned much there . Our hotel was nearby and I had a small house where a lady brought me a hot water bottle and a gent started a fire in the fire place. It seemed to be unchanged since colonial times. With the volcanoes in the background, a nip in the air it was certainly like the Drakensberg.
Gorilla day. Away by 06.30 to a nearby assembly area where many tourists gathered. Our group of 8 were assigned a guide and a gorilla group and we drove to a nearby village where porters waited for us. We walked through farmland to the entrance of the park which is a simple bridge over a stone wall. Then the fun started. We climbed up steep trails through the jungle ; at one stage I fell into a hole and it took a couple of porters to pull me out. Eventually somewhat mud spattered we assembled close to the gorilla’s position. Each family group have heavily armed trackers so at any one time their position is known. We crept forward and suddenly there they were with the silverback just a meter away sleeping soundly. It soon became clear that he was the decision maker , when eventually he got up and moved the troupe followed him and so did we . We moved around the group and at one time the guards cut a path to them with machetes and they never flinched. They are totally accustomed to humans and really pay no attention to us. It was great to watch the interchange between them with the youngsters swinging on branches and others climbing trees. Our one hour time slot was up and reluctantly we had to head back down the mountain.
The following day was a visit to the golden monkeys which I was unfortunately unable to make due to stomach problems but I was treated to a visit in my room by one who clambered up the roof and even sat down next to me.
The rest of the day was a return journey to Kigali airport and then checking in and flying to Johannesburg and another long wait overnight in a closed airport before catching the first flight to Durban.
This is a once in a lifetime visit. The mountain gorilla population has gone from almost extinction to a population of over 1000 but is still threatened. To see these animals, close up in their natural environment will remain with me for the rest of my life.
My son Simon started working at Phinda Game Reserve twenty-eight years ago as a ranger and has worked there ever since except for spells travelling and working for the company in Tanzania, Kenya and Botswana. He rejoined the reserve as Reserve Manager. Phinda was originally farm land and the reserve was proclaimed in 1990 and has grown to over 30000 hectares. Families of employees are entitled to bed nights at the luxury lodges at much reduced rates or nights at Bayete tented camp. This last trip was to celebrate Andy’s 60th birthday and composed of 15 friends and relatives in two game viewing vehicles, one of which was driven for the last two days by Simon. We had the usual sightings of the Big 5 including two male lions feeding off a giraffe which stunk to high heaven if you were down wind and had thousands of maggots. We went to the boma where we had drinks amongst a posse of rhinos which were ready to be shipped to the Congo. After feeding they became curious about us and crept closer and closer towards us snorting and puffing until people shouted at them and they retreated. When opening the gate I got a big whack from the electric fence, designed to keep rhinos in the boma, and was worried about the effect that would have on my heart pacemaker. Over the years I’ve seen wonderful and memorable sights. A male black rhino that we disturbed whilst sleeping and who got up and walked quietly up to the vehicle and sniffed it inquisitively. Elephants who came up to the vehicle within touching distance; leopards stretching themselves languidly along tree branches; lions hunting and normally missing their prey or sleeping upside down waving their paws; cheetahs sprinting and catching a buck. Pangolins have been introduced into the reserve and one in particular was relaxed and wrapped himself around my leg. A darted elephant sleeping peacefully with a branch inserted into his trunk to allow him to breathe. Feeling the deep pulse in his ear and his thick padded feet allowing him to creep soundlessly across the ground. One night sleeping on the flat roof of a lodge and listening to a roaring lion coming closer and closer to us but to our relief continuing on his way. Driving and walking through the sand forest with its special birds like the Narina Trogon and the African Broadbill. A helicopter ride and spotting suitable rhinos to be dehorned. A giraffe capture which is tantamount to chaos with rangers trying to bring down the flailing giant with ropes and ducking the flying kicks. A family of warthogs who dug a burrow under Simon’s car and proceeded to live there. My granddaughter Tamsin who has lived there all her life bringing up orphaned impalas, a klipspringer, pangolins and a beautiful genet she found in the garden. She once told me she had spotted the Big 5 one morning on her way to school. She never hesitated to dive into ugly wounds on sedated animals and clean out the maggots. Getting soaked to the skin racing home in open game vehicles in fierce thunder storms. We’ve spent the last few family Christmases at Simon’s house, the only time we can all spend together and been treated to family game drives and sleeping out at night on a platform in the highest summit of the reserve. But everything comes to an end and it’s time for Simon to move on. He’s certainly left a legacy and can be proud of the work he has done and leaves Phinda as an example of an ecologically sound reserve despite the challenges of poaching and global warming . Thank you Simon for the selfless work you’ve carried out at Phinda and the many memories we have of our time there.
With the exception of Christmas 2021 because of Covid our family has been able to spend a few days each year staying at Phinda Game Reserve in Kwa Zulu Natal thanks to Simon, my son, who is Conservation Manager there. We stay at his house and use an identical house next door which is normally used by volunteers. This is a great privilege as the view from the house is stunning over grass land and the distant hills. One doesn’t even have to take a game drive , we see everything from the verandah and have resident cheetahs who like to patrol inside the camp in search of warthogs and impala. Another feature of Simon’s house is that we have braais outside on his verandah and it was good to have the family all together. To be a Naylor you have to be prepared to have your leg pulled; big, small, old or young. On the first day’s drive we easily saw the big 5, from a huge herd of buffalo, elephant bulls, young lions watching over proceedings from their perch, rhinos close up. In the afternoon we heard there were leopards about and went up the nearby mountain to see if we could find them. We walked to the top with strict instructions not to eyeball a leopard if we passed it by in the long grass. We had a drink up there and then started down the hill. Within a couple of minutes what do we see but the swishing of a white tipped tail walking round the corner. This leopard has two grown cubs somewhere and she evidently was hunting to find them something to eat. We left her and returned to the same spot the next day and sure enough there she was with her two grown male cubs. They were relaxed and walked right by the vehicle. This is a tremendous sighting for Phinda as leopards are normally shy and nocturnal and do their hunting at night. The mother started hunting, leaving the cubs behind but was unsuccessful in catching a baby warthog. We followed her through the bush and then lost her until Lisa shouted out ,” There she is “ ; in a tree directly above us yawning and relaxing. We watched her hunting for awhile and then left her to it. We drove under a large tree and there was a sudden flapping of wings and dark shadow passed over us, it was the rarely seen giant eagle owl. Later in the day we came across hundreds of swallows catching flying ants as they appeared from the ground, floating up into the sky until they were gobbled up by the birds. We came across a large female lion who was searching for something in the long grass.. Suddenly she dived down and appeared with a struggling jackal in its mouth. One bite and it was gone. The lioness dropped it and continued on her way. She was just killing competition. I still don’t understand animal’s reaction to game vehicles. Lions will walk past the vehicle and eye ball you and then just carry on their way. In the dark we came across two bull elephants eating grass just outside the camp. One came up to our vehicle , Simon shouted at it and backed off and then drove forward at him. We watched this battle of wills with our hearts in our mouths. Eventually after a long staring match the elephant flapped his head and moved away. We took a drive to an old abandoned farm house from the 1930’s, now just foundations left and parts of an old tractor. We tried to imagine what it must have been like in those days to settle in what was once deep bush in Zulu country , build a house and successfully farm cattle. I only have admiration for their bravery , skills and determination. Brett has a metal detector and we found some bullets and other artifacts. All of Phinda was once farm land , even in my time of visiting the area from the 1970’s I’ve seen a huge change in the land. We used to stop and pick cotton near Mkuze , now much of the land has reverted to bush and used either for hunting or safaris . It’s a big return to the wild.
On our last game drive, we were conscious that a thunder storm was forecast but we carried on regardless. We went once more to the top of the hill and saw the black clouds, flashes of lightening and rain fast approaching us. We quickly dashed down the hill in the open Land Cruiser but we were too late and got caught in it. It just poured down with lightening around us and crashes of thunder. The rain in our faces stung us and in no time we were soaked. I just remember careering down the road which had turned into a river of mud crouched down under the seat in front of me. Simon drove with sun glasses to protect his eyes from the stinging rain. What an end to our safari.
This may be our last get together at Phinda. I’ve been coming here for 25 years to see Simon and have relished all I have seen and done and count myself extremely fortunate to have had the experiences. Phinda I will miss you. Thank you, Simon, for everything.
This book is written by Wes Jackson and Robert Jensen, an agronomist, and a journalist respectively, and predicts that there will be a collapse on a global scale and that for humanity to continue the world’s population must reduce from its current 7.8 billion to a 3 billion manageable size. The book does not say how this reduction in population will be achieved but with today’s scenario with countries threatening to use nuclear weapons it is not difficult to imagine. Needless to say, it won’t be pleasant. Our genus, “Homo “has been around for 2.5 million years and our species “Homo sapiens “ has existed for about 200,000-300,000 years. This is but a blink of the eye in evolutionary terms. Only in the last 12000 years has man made its way of living with agriculture and then living in towns. Even more recently humans are living in the industrial world that uses fossil fuels to consume at levels previously unimaginable. Now we live in an age where humans believe that our own cleverness and knack for invention can keep our eco-system- destroying activity going indefinitely. Humanity is on a whole different journey than a gathering-hunting society Capitalism’s demand for endless growth is incompatible with a livable human future. First world levels of consumption are unsustainable and have generated expectations that cannot be met. . The Industrial and Digital Revolutions have not only changed our relationships with each other and created unrealistic material expectations; they have fundamentally changed the way most people interact with the non-human world. We think that our clever selves will come up with something to overcome the current problems but electric cars will not save us and neither are global climate accords. The dawn of agriculture got humanity on the course of increasing energy use and material wealth that has brought us to the current ecological crisis. Once the collapse occurs and the Earth’s population declines it is up to humans to figure out how to live in a low energy future, I e one where fossil fuels are no longer used and we are back to using our own muscles. The future will be fewer people consuming less. For me coming to the end of my life, I probably won’t see this come to pass, unless there is a nuclear war in the next few months or years. Since I was born the world, particularly in the developed West has seen a growth and an improvement in the standard of living like never seen before unless you were unfortunate enough to be born in one of the world’s poorer third world countries. My parents and grandparents would be amazed to see how we live today. But it’s not sustainable and the future is bleak. I was born with a world population of approx. 2 billion and I’ve seen this more than triple in my life time. But my children and grandchildren will have to contend with a future very different from my life.
It’s ironic that people rush to Game Parks ,spend huge amounts of money on going on safari whilst in the meantime countless numbers of animals and bird species are becoming extinct. To reach the park one takes to roads overloaded with trucks transporting coal to our ports for use by China and other countries whilst our Government allows our railways to go to rack and ruin. The world’s population continues to increase putting further pressure on our wild places. Kruger National park is the largest park in South Africa and covers nearly 20000 km2. It became South Africa’s first national park in 1926 and while most private Game Reserves are for the rich and famous from overseas Kruger remains an affordable option for locals as well as catering for foreign guests. There is a variety of accommodation inside the park including the camping . For this visit I opted to stay in Komatipoort near the gate to Crocodile Gate and be a day visitor. I chose the week that SAN Parks deemed free to enter and drove my car in the Southern part of the park. The first day it rained which affected game viewing but nevertheless I experienced one of my best sights, a leopard eating its kill wedged in the fork of a tree. Although it was some distance away I had a perfect view with binoculars. Kruger has a number of camps containing shops and restaurants and I took advantage to have my breakfast, usually with a good view over the rivers. There are many elephants in the park, far more than I can remember from previous, some of the viewings are spectacular. Being up close to these huge beasts is memorable and small babies are wonderful to watch with their funny antics. Viewing elephants has become matter of fact and many people just drive past.. Not me , I find them wonderful to watch. Lions are plentiful but usually disappoint to watch with crowds of cars nosing in to watch their sleeping bodies tucked under a bush sleeping. I did see apar mating. Another wonderful sighting was four wild dogs sleeping by the side of the road. I watched them alone for 20 minutes before the first car arrived. Like cheetahs they sleep and then jerk awake keeping their eyes and ears open for danger. A huge herd of buffalo was another special sighting. Birds are prolific but difficult to spot when driving. I find that one can drive for a long time and see nothing and then turn around the corner and there is a wonderful sighting. I didn’t see a rhino, an animal which has almost become extinct in the Kruger due to poaching. The road back home is mostly set up for agriculture , pine forests, sugar cane ; and is a green desert with few birds and animals. Kruger is but an island in the middle of it all and our Game Parks are coming under increasing pressure. I fear for the future of our wild places.
This is a book by Elizabeth Gilbert as a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love where she has a good relationship with the man Philippe, she met in Bali but both of them are afraid to commit to marriage after surviving divorces and everything that goes with it. However, they are faced with marriage or nothing if they are to live together in USA as he falls foul of the immigration authority. Ms. Gilbert investigates marriage through the years up to the present day and comes up with some interesting information and ideas about relationships. She has a talk with a wife from the Hmong tribe in Vietnam and finds that each other has totally different concepts of marriage. The idea of marrying for love, being a good wife or husband is totally alien to the Hmong and many other people of the world either because they have an arranged marriage or they follow age old traditions of marriage where men and women have their place and duties and position in the tribe. So, a ‘happy marriage” is not something Hmong women think about. We however expect to have happiness from marriage. Are we asking too much of modern marriage? In the early days BC, the fundamental working unit of society was the family. From the family came food, housing, education, religious guidance, medical care and importantly defense. But with the coming of Christianity there was a rejection of sexuality and marriage. When we speak today about “holy wedded matrimony” or the “sanctity of marriage” we should remember that for ten centuries Christianity did not see marriage as being either holy or sanctified. In fact, Christianity was hostile to marriage. Later as the need for safety reduced and people lived in towns and villages marriage became the single most important business arrangement most people would ever make in their lives. Great wealthy families stabilized their fortunes through marriage. The big romantic white weddings didn’t come into being until the 19th century, before that people got married in their homes. In the 13th century the church became involved in marriage. Divorce was banned, as it is still in the Philippines. In those days marriage made life more difficult for women. They lost legal rights of their own nor could they hold any personal property. In USA in certain states, as in apartheid South Africa, it was illegal to have an inter-racial marriage. So, this transformation of marriage from a business deal to a badge of emotional affection has weakened considerably over time because marriages based on love are just as fragile as love itself. Divorce is the second most stressful event after death of a spouse. Infatuation is the most perilous aspect of human desires. It leads to what psychologists call “intrusive thinking”, the state where you cannot concentrate on anything other than the object of your desire. The problem with infatuation is that it’s a mirage, a trick of the eye. Infatuation is not quite the same thing as love. Real, sane, mature love is not based on infatuation but on affection and respect. It would appear that there are two types of men, those who have the vasopressin receptor gene and tend to be trustworthy and reliable sexual partners, sticking with one partner for decades, raising children and running stable households. Men who lack this gene are prone to dalliance and disloyalty, always needing to seek sexual variety elsewhere. Married people sometimes form a friendship outside of matrimony but begin sharing intimacies and this leads to a physical relationship and if partners find out then it’s curtains to the marriage. Some issues about marriage that need to be negotiated are discussed. Firstly, fidelity is a nonnegotiable condition of marriage. Housework and domestic chores need to be established as a shared duty. Do both partners want children and if so, how many? Are the couple compatible in bed and no problems with human sexuality. Partners often have different ideas about the managing of money issues and this needs to be sorted out as it can lead to major strife in the future. Does one draft a prenuptial agreement, well it’s probably not necessary if both parties have little money but if one partner has plenty and the other not much then it’s strongly advisable. If you think it’s difficult to talk about money when you’re blissfully in love, try talking about it later when you are disconsolate and angry and your love has died. 50% of marriages end in divorce in USA. This is more complicated than it looks once you break it down across certain demographics. The age of the couple at the time of their marriage seems to be the significant consideration. Eighteen-year-olds have something closer to 75% divorce rate. Age 25 seems to be the cut off point and the older you are the more chance you have of not ending up in the divorce court. Other factors of marital reliance are 1) the better educated you are the better off your marriage will be.2) Couple with young children at home report “more disenchantment “within their marriage. 3) People who live together before marriage have a slightly higher divorce rate than those who wait until marriage to cohabitate. 4) The less similar you and your partner are in terms of race, age, religion, ethnicity, cultural background and career the more likely you are to divorce.5) Social integration. The more tightly woven a couple are within a community of friends and family, the stronger their marriage will be. 6) Religiousness. The more religious a couple is the more likely they are to stay married. But only just. Born again Christians in USA have a divorce rate that is only 2% lower than their more Godless neighbors. It would seem that up until the present time women have had a raw deal out of marriage, giving up the possibility of earning their own money and staying at home caring foe others and doing the chores. So why do so many women want to get married and have the full white wedding experience? It’s because they feel chosen, it’s their moment of glory. Today women have to decide whether they want children or not and if so how to balance a work life with looking after and bringing them up. Despite all these men and women will forever get together as a couple, make vows to each other and somehow negotiate the tricky road of being partners. Elizabeth Gilbert did marry Philippe despite her misgivings. I googled and found that later they divorced and she then had a relationship with a woman. Today I find that amongst young people there is no rush to get married, often they will have two or three relationships, sometimes live in, before tying the knot. Many women delay until their 30’s until having their first child. With my generation it was expected that one gets educated, married, have children, take on debt with buying a house and the rights cars and work for 40 years saving towards a retirement that often they don’t achieve due to an early death. There are alternatives and many younger people are discovering them.
Happiness. A Guide to developing Life’s most important skill by Matthieu Ricard.
The author is a French Buddhist monk and he explores different modes of happiness and then gives his ideas on how to achieve on going happiness in life. He defines happiness as a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind. This is not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or a mood, but an optimal state of being. Happiness is also a way of interpreting the world, since it may be difficult to change the world, it is always possible to change the way we look at it. To love oneself is to love life. It is essential to understand that we make ourselves happy in making others happy. We look for happiness outside ourselves when it is basically an inner state of being. We forge bonds of friendship, start families, live in society, work to improve the material conditions of our existence – is that enough? Clearly not when we see the lives of unhappy rich movie stars. The most common error is to confuse pleasure for happiness. Pleasure is a temporary phenomenon and most often centered on self. Living it up is how one is supposed to exist, a compulsory hyperactivity without any downtime. We are afraid to turn our gaze in upon ourselves. If we do take time to explore our inner world, it’s in the form of daydreams and imagination, dwelling on the past or fantasizing endlessly about the future. The author urges us to spend time in meditation, to contemplate our lives and develop some inner peace. “Suffering” is a part of life for most people. Either ill health, poverty, relationship problems, misfortune; all have to be dealt with at some time in life. If it is possible to relieve mental anguish by transforming one’s mind, how can this process be applied to physical suffering. There are certainly a number of ways to experience the same pain with more or less intensity. The idea that a powerful ego is necessary to succeed in life undoubtedly stems from the confusion between attachment to our own image and the resolve to achieve our deepest aspirations. The reason for this is simple; self-importance is a target open to all sorts of mental projectiles – fear greed, repulsion – that perpetually destabilize it. When the self-ceases to be the most important thing in the world we find it easier to focus our concern on others. It is tempting to systematically pass the blame on to the world and other people. When we feel anxious, depressed, cranky, envious, or emotionally exhausted we’re quick to pass the buck to the outside world; tensions with colleagues at work, arguments with our spouse can be a source of upset. When we emerge from that moment of blindness during which we are completely in the grip of a strong emotion and our mind has been freed from its disruptive emotional burden, it is hard to believe that an emotion had dominated us to such an extent.
Never underestimate the power of the mind, which is capable of making vast worlds of hatred, desire, elation and sadness.
Some emotions make us flourish, others sap our well -being, others make us wither. Emotion covers any feeling that moves the mind, be it towards a harmful, a neutral or a positive thought. If an emotion strengthens our inner peace and seeks the good of others it is positive. If it shatters our serenity, deeply disturbs our mind and is intended to harm others then it is negative. Every incident of aggression and jealousy represents a setback in our quest for serenity and happiness.
Since altruistic love acts as a direct antidote to hatred the more, we develop it the more the desire to harm will wither and finally disappear. Anger can be neutralized by patience.
Few of us would regret the years it takes to complete an education or master a crucial skill. So why complain about the perseverance needed to become a well-balanced and truly compassionate human being.
As natural as it is desire degenerates into a mental toxin as soon it becomes craving, an obsession or an unmitigated attachment. Generally, once mental images linked to a desire begin to build up in the mind, one either satisfies the desire or surpresses it. The repeated reinforcement of mental images leads to addiction and dependency, mental and physical. The experience of desire is felt more like servitude than pleasure. We have lost our freedom. The obsessive desire that often accompanies passionate love can degrade affection, tenderness and the joy of appreciating and sharing the life of another.
Altruistic love is the joy of sharing life with those around us, our friends, our lovers and companions, our wife or husband, and of contributing to their happiness. We love them for who they are and not through the distortion of self-centeredness.
Of all the mental poisons hatred is the most toxic. It is one of the chief causes of unhappiness and the driving force of all violence, all genocide, all assaults on human dignity. As Gandhi said ” If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless.” To react spontaneously with anger and violence when harm has been inflicted is sometimes considered heroic, but in truth those who remain free from hatred display much greater courage.
We are envious of other peoples” happiness and certainly not of their unhappiness. We should try to set aside the mental images that torture us and the obsessiveness that makes us dream of cruel reprisals against the usurper of whom we are jealous.
Inner freedom is above all freedom from the dictatorship of “me “and “mine”, of the ego that clashes with whatever it dislikes and seeks desperately to appropriate whatever it covets.
Our life is frittered away by detail…. Simplify, simplify. Renunciation involves simplifying our acts, our speech, and our thoughts to rid ourselves of the superfluous. Three main conclusions emerge from studies. First, outward conditions such as wealth, education, social status, hobbies,sex,age,ethnicity, and so on account for no more than 10-
15% of the variable satisfaction quotient. Second, we seem to have a genetic predisposition to being happy or unhappy – about 25% of our potential for happiness appears to be determined by genes. Third we can exert considerable influence on our experience of happiness and unhappiness through the way we live and think, how we perceive life’s events and how we react to them.
The sense of happiness is higher in countries that ensure their inhabitant’s basic resources, greater security, autonomy, and freedom, as well as sufficient educational opportunities and access to information.
Happiness rises with social involvement and participation in volunteer organizations, the practice of sports or music, and membership in leisure clubs.
People who are married or cohabitating are significantly happier than singles, widows and widowers or the divorced or separated living alone.
Happiness tends to be greater among those who have paying work. Death rates and incidences of illness, depression, suicide and alcoholism are notably higher among the unemployed. Retirement makes life not less satisfying but rather more so. Happiness is more pronounced among highly energetic people in good condition. It does not seem to be linked to climate.
Leisure activities enhance satisfaction. Vacations have a positive effect on well-being. TV watching leads only to a minimal increase in well-being.
Money does not buy happiness. For those who lack the basic means of subsistence and for whom money becomes a question of survival, obtaining more wealth brings a legitimate sense of satisfaction. However, it appears clearly that beyond a relatively low threshold of wealth, the level of satisfaction remains unchanged even as income continues to rise. One of the main sources of peoples’ discontent comes from comparing themselves with others in the family, at their work place and among their acquaintances.
As a general statement people who have a happy disposition live longer.
There is an undeniable correlation between altruism and happiness, determining that those who believe themselves to be happiest are also the most altruistic.
In a study optimists live 19% longer on average than pessimists. An optimist is somebody who considers his problems to be temporary, controllable and linked to a specific situation. The sense of insecurity that afflicts so many people today is closely tied to pessimism.
We should put our time to good use, not just waste it. Boredom is the fate of those who rely entirely on distraction.
The “state of flow “is where one becomes completely absorbed in the task being carried out whether it is making a painting, playing football or concentrating on a teaching; to the exclusion of all other thoughts. Doing this on a regular basis contributes to one’s feeling of wellbeing. This is not dissimilar to meditation.
Everybody is interested in happiness. But who is interested in enlightenment? And yet ultimate well being comes from fully eliminating delusion. Enlightenment is the state of ultimate freedom that comes with a perfect knowledge of the nature of the mind and of the world of phenomena.
